“It’s important to understand that the narcissist parent cannot see what’s real—the real you or anyone else.
There may be moments when the parent appears to connect.
The closeness feels very personal and rich.
You may not want to believe it is a manipulation.
You may fiercely defend your parent.
You may take on traits of the parent and unwittingly act them out with others, coming to the parent’s defense. Then you are blamed for it and you are hurt.
You may learn to inflict the same pain onto yourself, as well.
Your age doesn’t matter—you are the child, in this instance, and you want to be loved by your parents. The child inside you does. This is a natural tendency—and much of this is happening on an unconscious and, perhaps, energetic level.”
Remember this the next time you are caught off guard. Remember that you are trying to become conscious. Be kind to yourself in ways your parent never could. And, likely, never will.
Adapted from When Your Parent Is a Narcissist by Meredith Resnick
Photo by Brett Sayles