For Yourself: Deconstructing Shame After Trauma


Some things are meant to be deconstructed. Shame is one of them.

Deconstruct is a verb.

Unfurl and re-emerge are also verbs.

You can emerge from trauma as you deconstruct the shame you feel—
even shame that doesn't actually belong to you.
(Much of shame after trauma is that kind of shame.)

Verbs symbolize movement.

Movement can take the form of growth.

Growth can mean:

deepening

expanding

stabilizing

acknowledging

listening

speaking

communing

deconstructing

delving

and, even,

learning to be still.

Several acts of growth occur at once.


When you are in recovery from trauma—immediately after a recent trauma or, perhaps, decades afterwards—you move into a space within yourself that holds the memory of the pain. This is deep and tender work.

We can consciously enter those spaces through journaling, art, meditation, therapy. Other times we may be overcome with memory, or what feels like memory, or like the feeling and experience of what happened, and we're right back where it all began.

Those unpredictable moments can be scary and unnerving. They are also natural.

The practice of trauma recovery is to take those until-now buried, neglected, scary, shame-filled memories, in whatever shape they present themselves, and begin to deconstruct them, and your relationship to them.

You are both repairing something that was hurt or violated and, at the same time, you are growing. This is called integration. The is how you eventually assign meaning to this trauma, as opposed to the trauma assigning meaning to you.  

This site is a haven to help you do that, just for you.

Welcome.

Meredith